I received an e-mail from a guy on JDate the other day – a brief note saying he liked my profile, would I like to meet for coffee?
I check his profile. He looks fairly attractive and I like what he wrote. The catch? He lives in Minnesota.
At first I laughed and dismissed it – it’s one thing to meet for coffee between Phoenix and Chandler, but where would we meet – in Colorado?
But then I thought about it. Just because I decided to live in Phoenix at this particular point in my life, does that mean I should dismiss everybody in every other place in the world?
I often hear complaints from single friends – it’s always the same people at the Jewish singles events, never any new faces. But when an opportunity arises – forget it, he lives in Tucson.
All the choices we’ve made in the past brought us to wherever we are now. What if the person I’m supposed to be with made other choices that led him to a different city, and his life just hasn’t crossed paths with mine yet?
In the dating world, we disqualify people for many things – no chemistry, too short, too tall, too religious, not religious enough, different political philosophies, no political philosophy. And, as in the Seinfeld world, for reasons such as big hands or an annoying laugh.
So even if the geographical area isn’t ideal – even if he’s lived in a cold climate all his life and I’ve never lived in a place where it snows, is that so important? (I guess not, he’d just have to move here.)
A friend of mine once met a woman on a plane. There was a spark and he ended up moving to her town – Phoenix – where he’s now lived for several years. The relationship didn’t work out, but that’s not the point – the concept is noteworthy. You just never know.
I wrote the Minnesota guy back, telling him that I think it might be kind of difficult to meet for coffee, being that we live in different states and all.
He wrote me back, saying he’d be in town this weekend, he’d still like to meet me.
I haven’t decided yet what I want to do. I feel like I should just give it a chance, but he has the same name as my dad. That might be a little weird.
This article first appeared in the April 5, 2002 issue of Jewish News of Greater Phoenix.